All the Lonely People...

GOOD MORNING!

I know that I caught the attention of my "more experienced" readers...with a line from Elenor Rigby by the Beatles!

It was a "deep" song in its day!  AND in a way...it remains timeless...because everywhere I go...whenever I make the effort to look...I see "lonely" people!  More on this later...

Downshift...

Before I go any further...I want everyone to know that I realize that this is not Saturday morning!  I received a note this morning from a dear person...who specifically called out a situation where many people of like backgrounds gather at a cafe and comiserate!  One could almost say...a gathering of dregs! 

My first question is...WHY ARE YOU THERE?  Actually not!  I just had to say it!

After reading the note...and his questions and thoughts...I was moved to a "Special Edition" Weekend Update...because I had to respond AND I had no other blogsite to attach the thoughts to!

I have always held to the precept that the greatest accomplishments spring from the times when one is truly moved...perhaps this will be my BIG BREAK!

The cinematic industry has grasped this concept...think about how many movies you have seen where the hero or heroine (usually towards the end of the movie) has an epiphany or a self realization...and turns from their epic struggle...and overcomes all odds!

Then think of all of the enduring "sit-coms" that unite cast of people of common lonliness together (Cheers, Flo, MASH and 90210 are some that come to mind)...and the infinite number of situations that arise from them...and the fact that the viewing audience never waned! Why...because we all can relate!

All people are lonely!

UP-SHIFTING!

If there is such a word as up-shifting...but you get the point!

I have been considering doing a vBlog to augment my work on management and leadership development...

They would be 2-3 minute clips on a specific management topic...

If it can't be said in 3 minutes...you got to wonder!

and the main blog would have a secondary vBlog called "Survivor Man-ager"  A take off of the Discovery Channel "Survivor Man" series...where a guy is dropped into some inhospitable place and he has to survive for a week!

Where am I going with this?  Just looking for your feedback on whether you'd watch it...AND...

There is always an "AND!"

That note from this morning...brought back a memory...

Of a framed poem that I had hung on the wall...in many of my offices...

It was my MISSION for many years...and it has been lost through the moves...yet I can recall it perfectly!

Rather than doing a vBlog of it...I am going to return to the dark ages and recite it for you!

This will be a great exercise...

Deserata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud & agressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your acheivements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many people strive for high ideals; and everywhere the world is full of heroism.

Be yourself,

Especially, do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of Spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.

Beyond a wholesome disipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you the, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors & aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be careful. Strive to be Happy.

This poem was attributed to a fellow named Max Ehrmann, who copy-writed it in the late 1920's.  Some people claim that it actually goes back to the late 1690's...but that doesn't matter...it is timeless and contains advice that we all should heed!

I think I did pretty good recalling it and its history!  I will do a web search after I post it...just to confirm the accuracy...but it is a driving set of axioms in my life...it should be pretty close!

SHIFTING AGAIN!

Our journey today is on a winding road!

The line in the poem..."If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself..."

Lonely people gather at bars, churches, diners, clubs, street corners, work, parks...I could fill this blogsite, with that list alone, when I think about it...

...In fact...

The reason for being at any one of those places includes an attempt to quell the lonliness!  People go to a diner to eat...heck...there are perfectly good trashcans behind the establishment that have the same food...for a lot less money! (just joking) yet people gather together for the food AND the companionship...

Community!


These are people seeking commonality...

In my blog about "You can get LESS..." I talked about MY FACT that the differences between people are really the commonality of the same!

People tend to band together under a single flag...

If you find yourself marching with a group of people under the same flag...you seriously...have something in common with them...

Many people jade their presence within a group, by thinking that they are there to "help them."  Unless you are a professional "shrink" and getting paid for it...or are donating your time to helping them...do not deceive yourself!  You are there because of some common thread...

People want to be heard!  People need to talk...with people who understand them...they need safety and security...and a non-judgemental environment!  People simply want to hear that they are OK!

It is confirmation of their existence!

People want to know that they have value!

Everyone rises or sinks to a level of commonality...for that reason!

Look at Maslow's hierarchy...

People who are simply surviving unite with people of like situations...to comiserate...and mutually survive...

Visit a prison...it is a huge gathering of people who broke major laws and all claim to be innocent!  (I had to do it!)

The fact is...that life's situations drive us and them to different groups...people with whom they-all can relate...

It is a common language!

People seeks others of "common language" so that they can be heard and understood!

That gets us to the real root of the situation!

HIGH GEAR!

Do not think yourself more or less than those around you...if you are communicating...you have something in common...the language...

Language is an interesting concept...just by itself!

True communication is the result of common experiences...

When a person says.."X"

Everyone has an interpretation of "X"

The message has truly been communicated when the intended and same mental image of "X" is elicited across each listener.

That is what people desire!

Commonality of mental images!

This commonality leads to understanding...which in turn leads to confirmation...which hopefully leads to comfort!

AND THAT is what people seek...COMFORT!

I can not start with a Beatles song without quoting Bob Marley!

"...Everything's gonna be all-right!"

That is what a person required from the moment of their birth and they still require it throughout their entire life...

Comfort!

The reason that you are where you are at...is comfort!

The people described to me in the note...all hurt!

We all hurt...

They hurt because they feel that they were injustly hurt and did not deserve it!

They need to be heard and told that "everything is gonna be all-right!"

EVERYONE needs to hear that!

We all have experiences in our lives that call us to question our value and contribution...

Are we talkers?

or...

Are we listeners?

Deserata reminds me of the role that I can derive the most meaning and understanding from!

I have less the need to talk and more the need to listen...that has come over a long time of talking and the realization that I am no different than the other to whom I am talking!

"...all the lonely people...where do they all come from?"

Enough Said!