The Decided Life - Introduction

This is the first in a series of articles on what is known as the "Decided Life."

A short book is in the making that will more fully explain and guide the reader to living "the Decided Life" and experience control beyond their current expectations.

It is important to set the stage with the following introductory thoughts...to help set the stage for living "The Decided Life"


THE DECIDED LIFE'S BEGINNINGS

It all started late one evening.  Although the actual "Decided Life" started long ago, it was a subconscious effort...I would like to say that it occurred naturally, but in retrospect I was probably forced into it simply to survive...

Regardless of how it happened, I am glad it did!

But let's look at the chance discussion that led to the realization and rationalization of "The Decided Life" and the subsequent impact that my sharing of this "way of life" has made a significant, positive difference in the lives of others.

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I was laying on the dock with a friend looking up at the stars...we were just reliving "childlike moments" by doing something that one seldom does as an adult.

For a while we just laid quiet and gazed skyward.  Then we began talking about the universe and time and other trivial things...in a very unique way we were sharing in that child-like awe of a beautiful evening that almost always passes us by...

Then out of the "blue" my friend asked, "How did you get here?"

"What do you mean?" I responded. "To this area of the US or this moment in life?"

The next words spoken almost silently was interesting...

"I wish I had your life!"

This exchange continued for quite a while; the details, of which, unnecessary, yet after a while I had to admit..."I got here because I decided."

From this came an interesting final comment, "That is so cool!  You are living a decided life!"

That conversation was initially forgotten...then in another contemplative moment it again arose...and it got me thinking about the important role that decisions make in our lives.  As I thought deeper, it is in fact, the single most critical element of our present state in life...

When I think back to that night...the most important part of the discussion was that I had a conscious realization that I was living "the Decided Life!" and began using it when others looked to me for advice and help...


SHIFTING GEARS

Dreams and dreaming are not the exclusive right of human beings.

All of the higher order of animals dream!

Some of the most viral videos on the internet show dogs, cats, monkeys and other animals sleeping and doing crazy things which we attribute to their dreaming...

When it was all said and done...

Dogs dream and then they wake up and do what dogs do...

...and the same holds true for us...we dream and then we wake up and go about the things that we do...

I find it amusing how many motivational/inspirational "gurus" and spiritual guides focus on the importance of dreaming as a critical element of success and fulfillment.

I will not deny that dreaming is an important element in our survival.  If it wasn't important, living organisms wouldn't dream.  Psychologists have yet to fully understand the role that dreaming plays in our development and day to day living, but its presence and persistence emphasizes the fact that it is important.

The important thing for us to understand is its place in our lives.  Dreaming occurs when we are semi-conscious or unconscious.  It is not generally an experience of the normal conscious or wake state.

So let's take a moment and define dreams...they are thoughts without substance yet they have the ability to control physical actions...and because of their timing have little or no impact on our conscious existence...

HUH?

Consider a dog dreaming of chasing a rabbit.  The situation lacks any substance, yet the thoughts cause the dog's legs to move as if it were running.  While asleep, the dogs believes that it is chasing a rabbit.  But there is no rabbit...

When the dog wakes up and again joins us in the conscious world...there is no rabbit!

We have dreams that cause physical reactions.  Although I can say I have never personally had dreams as such...I have been with people who screamed in terror during a dream.  Yet when I got them back to the conscious world they realized that it was only a dream!

Many philosophers have written about consciousness and dreams and the "goings on" of the mind...

Dreams may play an important role in our existence...but I am intrigued by the fact that most of the dreams that we have...we seldom can remember!  If dreams are important to success...then why are so many forgettable?

Let's keep dreams and dreaming where they belong...and stop thinking that dreaming is a critical element of success and authentic happiness...

Why?

Many of these success peddlers generalize dreams and dreaming.  They make the definition of dreams so broad that they allow it to permeate our conscious time.

They call our goals and aspirations dreams.  Subtly they have defined goals and aspirations as simply a mental state lacking substance or...(by our original and accurate definition of dreams...in reverse).

In other words...they say that our conscious state of dreaming (goal setting) is actually an state of unconsciousness, lacking true substance...

The first and most important thing in "The Decided life" is to recognize when you are conscious and take stock of your current state of existence...

There is a time to dream and a time to set goals and aspirations.

What is the difference?

Dreams are in the unconscious state and will always lack substance...

Dreams may cause physical REACTIONS...but they are not based in a real world...

Goals and Aspirations are conscious and affect things of substance...the conscious world...

Goals and Aspirations cause physical ACTION...

Do you see the difference?

Dreams cause REACTIONS...Goals and Aspirations cause ACTION!

Dreams and dreaming are uncontrolled and at the whim of ones thoughts...

Goals and Aspirations are controlled and conscious decisions...affecting the present and the future!

If it is a dream call it that...

If it is a Goal or Aspiration call it that...

This may sound petty and semantic...in a way it is,,,but do not underestimate the power of those subtle difference has on our thoughts and subsequent actions.

Enough rambling on Dreams and Goals and Aspirations...

"The Decided Life" sees the difference between the two and calls a dream "a dream" and a goal "a goal!"

For today...realize that the "Decided Life" is active and conscious...it is a decision...

More to come!

Passion Peddlers

Throughout most of history there have arisen individuals who have intuitively found the prevailing need of the time and sold their "secrets" to anyone who was naive enough to pay for it!

Snake oil salesmen...

Patent medicines...

Spiritual Gurus...

and the list goes on!

I can't fault these people for trying to make a living,,,especially if they truly believed in what they were selling...but most probably knew that it was a lie!

Today is not any different!

We are constantly bombarded with individuals who profess to knowing the secrets of success and the share them in their seminars and in their books...for money!

My question is...Are they any difference than the "confidence salespeople" of bygone eras?

Probably not!

Passion and Dreams...

Find your passion...

Dream your dreams...

These critical elements of success sound good...but I think that they are simply marketing words that appeal to the largest segment of a world in need.

The world hungers for better...

I would think that only insane people would answer the question, "Do you want a better life?" with the answer, "No!"

People can sell passion and dreams and get people to pay big bucks for them...because there is little risk to their money back guarantee!

If a dream doesn't work...it wasn't the seller's fault,,,it was the wrong dream!

Passion always works...so the buyer blew it!

And the passion peddler jumps back into his or her wagon and rides to the next town!

Let's Get Real

I do agree that a person needs to be passionate about what they are pursuing,,,but it is not a critical component,

Passion helps...

Passion has made many people successful, but not every successful person has been passionate!

Passion is an emotion...

If a person sits passionate about something and does nothing...they are no better than a blob of slime that washes up on a coastal beach...(I stepped in one today...it was gross!)

Successful people may or may not have passion, but they all have properly guided direction...sometimes that direction comes from within (their plans and thoughts) other times the direction comes through the advice of a friend or mentor or life coach.

That direction is meaningless also without action...

ACTION is the real first step in success...forget about the passion thing...start doing something and learn to love what you are doing!

Many lives are wasted looking for the right thing to do!

Stop Dreaming!

For decades I have seen "dreaming" touted as a critical element of success...

Dreams are for night time...when you are asleep...with your eyes closed...and you are oblivious to what is going on around you!

The passion peddlers can spin dreaming all they want...but I have never woke up from a dream and found my plight in life any better,,,

The best that I can say about dreaming is that I woke up and had to use the restroom!

Dreams are good...they serve a psychological purpose...

But what made my day better was dreaming the night away, opening my eyes, seeing reality for what it really is, getting out of bed and doing something!

Gee...seems like no matter how you look at it...it always goes back to action!

Ask a passion peddler..."If I do what you are saying...I have a 100% guarantee that I will achieve my goals...right?"

Then ask for a 10X my money back if it doesn't work!

Make them put their money where their dreams and passion are!

A person could become a millionaire holding passion peddlers to their promises!

But I think a vast majority will show their true colors if put to the test!

I recently got a phone call from a fellow promoting investing in rare gems!

I asked him if he did this for a living!

He said yes for 25 years!

I asked why?

He seemed confused!

I explained that if the stuff he was selling was such a great investment, why didn't he get loans on everything he had and invest in these sure things!

If he did that he should have been retired long ago and not selling investments...

He sat quiet and then hung up without another word!

He could have, at least, said thank you for ruining his life!

Passion Peddlers are found in every facet of our lives...they grab on to the "want" of the present and sell easy ways to obtain them...

Success and happiness are not made of iron...

There is no way to attract either!

The law of attraction is a marketing ploy no different than drinking a certain beer will make you more popular!

The answer is simple...if you want success and happiness...

...you have to do the right things at the right time...

You can figure it out and do it...or...

...you can get directions from someone and do it!

In either case...it is about action...DO IT!

What are you thinking about?

My mornings often include a visit to the local beach.  Most of the time I go there for the solitude.  It provides me with uninterrupted time to be with my thoughts.  The rhythmic surf is undemanding on my senses, and allows me to ignore those other distractions that would put an overbearing demand my limited "thinking bandwidth!"

Most of the time!

A few days ago, my writing time was interrupted by a text that simply said, "It is beautiful out..."

I responded graciously and went back to writing or at least tried.  My curiosity got the best of me and I walked out the door and was taken aback by how nice the weather had turned!

My "writing day" was ruined, at least until I inserted a beach walk.

I went to my usual place on the beach, stood for a few minutes and savored the sound.  Most of all, I cherished the fact that I was separated from my phone and in a 21st century sense...totally isolated!

I fell backward in a sitting position against my place on the wall and closed my eyes...feeling the morning sun's heat on my face, legs and arms and the breeze that simultaneously cooled me.  It was amazing and my mind momentarily blanked and I was "feeling the moment."  I intended to extend this simple joy as long as possible.

My section of the beach is uncrowded.  A person can exist there relatively alone and uninterrupted.  There are occasional beach walkers and runners.  A few lay quietly and add to their tans.  Others swim and play in the surf.  The best part is that they leave me alone...most of the time.  That is one of the reasons I like being there.

NOT TODAY!  My solitude was suddenly and uncharacteristically interrupted by a sweet feminine voice.  "Do you mind if I sit here?"

I opened my eyes and looked over and politely responded, "I don't mind, I am just sitting here and thinking...I don't think my thoughts are loud enough to be a bother and you definitely won't be for me..."

She laughed briefly and then the tranquility resumed.

I closed my eyes again and this time my mind drifted to and began focusing on a single thought...

Being polite...That was really nice of her to ask and not just "plop" down.  That is a uncommon behavior these days!

...then my mind shifted to political correctness...and how that was meant to create an environment of high end behaviors like the one I just experienced.

BUT...

On the outside, being politically correct is a worthwhile behavior, but it has been misused.

This upsets me.

Political correctness has driven us to apathy, and tolerance of less than acceptable behaviors and conditions.  Rather than improving the behaviors of our world, it has hurt it.  People have been using political correctness as a shield that they can stand behind that allows them to do unacceptable things and demand acceptance of others!

Political correctness has forced us to accept obesity, and bullying, laziness, lack of courtesy, disrespect and on and on!

Political Correctness should only apply to "states of being" and not applied to behaviors and actions.  As a result of our tolerance of less than unacceptable behaviors, our world is in a downward spiral.

Our Founding Fathers even warned against it and made laws in a valiant attempt to protect it!

It make me sad...

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the voice of the sitting companion, "What are you thinking about?"

"Why do you ask?" I responded.

"Because your face went from very happy to extremely intense to very sad in a moment." She replied.

Although I was not overjoyed with the interruption, I also saw this as an opportunity to share an interesting concept that more people should consider as an option to how they live.  So I quickly verbalized my thoughts.

"Wow! That's really a deep thought!" she noted.

That having been said we turned to the ocean and again went quiet.  We sat there for quite a while and I opened my eyes to see if she was still sitting in her place and found that she was.  This time I noticed that her eyes were closed and her face projected deep sadness and pain.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked.

She slowly opened her eyes and turned her head to me and replied, "I was thinking that I need a pedicure!"

What are you thinking about?