Some days...life goes just like we planned...
Other days...just the opposite!
Everyone is tempted to become negative...
Most people succumb to the temptation!
There are days that I feel that life is simply a "dice throw" and no matter how hard we try or how hard I work...it goes the way it is going to go...
There are other days...that I feel like I am totally in control of my destiny...and as long as I work with thoughtful direction...it destiny rewards me with what I am working toward...
Those are the extremes and as I ponder it...reality lies somewhere in between...
What I do know for certain...is that tomorrow is uncertain!
To me that is invigorating...but for many it can be stressful!
In a general sense...when a person is unsure of what tomorrow is brings...there is anxiety...
Anxiety leads feeling of "lack of control." This leads to stress...
So we can conclude (as most therapists do) that stress arises out of the sense that one does not have control over the outcome of a situation...
If a person was honest with themselves...they would realize that they have absolutely no control over the certainty or uncertainty of tomorrow!
Given this assumption...the logical outcome is...a person should be 100% stressed...
We all know that this is a stupid conclusion...
We do know that "stress is bad!"
A successful person handles their world in a way that minimizes stress...
The ultimate goal is to be entirely stress-free...
What is my "stress-free" strategy?
How do I do it?
Mine is simple...I love the unknown...so the uncertainty doesn't bother me...It is what I know with a high degree of certainty that gets to (stresses) me!
It makes me smile..."If it isn't one thing...it is the other!"
How do we live a stress-free life?
You may be like me and welcome the unknown...or you may be just the opposite...
What is important in a "stress-reduced" journey is understanding what you need and getting it...
Let's begin by getting a directional understanding of stress...
As we previously noted...stress is a reaction to one's inability to control outcomes...
It manifests itself uniquely in every individual...
Stress is caused by a myriad of situations...such as...(let's make a brief list)
- The belief that the worst thing is about to happen...(pessimism and negativity)
- People having no control over their own activities so that they can not do what they want to do...(imprisonment)
- Being caught in an activity that is illegal or immoral and having to pay a price that they were not willing to pay...
- Disloyalty...
- Realization of inadequacies...
- Poor Decisions...
As I think about it (and I bet you are too) anything can cause stress...it simply depends upon the person!
Let's look at a unique situation...
Stress sometimes is brought about by the "grind" and the feelings that you will never get out of it...
It is a desire to get back to doing the things that invigorate you!
It is a momentarily desire for things that you can not have...
It is an immature response to current situations...
Yet...from my perspective..."The Grind" is a good thing!
"The Grind" is a character builder and it helps build one's confidence...providing confirmation that one is more than a consultant in this world...that they are a contributor!
At that point in one's life...it is necessary to use self-talk to drive performance...
To glean the enjoyment that this moment provides, rather than looking to the outside and wishing (unrealistically) for a better thing...
Why?
Did you catch the hidden piece of the puzzle?
The important words are..."the outside"
The outside world is negative...
It survives upon negativity...
You may disagree...I however see that positivity is a rare and wonderful gift...
The world at large may laud a winner...but
The world loves a loser!
Why?
Because when they see someone else fail...it comforts them...
As a result...they subconsciously bring losers to the forefront!
You don't believe me?
Look at the news!
It is all about the bad things...
Positive news broadcasts and stations rise...because a few people got sick of the current state of media...
They attempted to focus only on the good things...and sadly...their efforts quickly faded...
Why?
Because they can not capture and retain an audience!
There is no money in good news!
People may desire and attempt to watch "good news"...they may say that they want to hear good things...but in reality...they do not want to hear about another's success or good fortune...
"Good News" reminds them of their own inadequacies...
They want to hear that they aren't as bad as all of the other jokers!
When they hear really bad news so that they feel better!
They look for and revel in others' misfortunes!
This desire for bad news is strengthened by their self-talk!
If I "step out" and look at this situation...it is the state of the majority!
Self-talk and "Bad News"...It is one situation feeding another!
Negative self-talk and criticism...
Don't fall prey to that vicious circle!
Negativity and criticism is not a motivator...no matter how one "spins" it!
Many attempt to disguise these detrimental characteristics as drivers (motivators) for improved performance...
Do not be deceived...they are not...
It is the behavior of the sick and demented!
It lowers one's standards...because one only has to be better than the "bad news" to excel!
If the news is not bad enough...then they just search it out!
What scares me is that because it is the behavior of the majority...Many think it is a good thing!
Be Careful!
It is easy to become negative?
People emulate it!
One of the first words that a baby learns is NO!
Who teaches them that?
It is passed from generation to generation!
From parent to child!
We are in a bleak situation...it is important to rise above this!
It is impossible to avoid the negative influence of the outside world...
It is possible however, to make the negative opinions ineffectual!
Simply hear it...but do not listen!
Make the opinions of outside world...noise!
Let me repeat this...You can hear them...just do not listen...
The bottom-line is that the outside world is negative...
There is no changing that...
Remember...
No one has the right to drive you negative!
When situations go negative (from your perspective)...do not look to the outside world to get comfort...
Comfort can only come from you knowing that you are doing the right things...
Comfort can only come from the inside...
Comfort can only come from self-talk...
A survival expert is keenly aware of the fact that their life is totally dependent upon doing their best with what they have...
Wishing they had carried extra matches or a stove or a refrigerator...wastes time and mental energy!
What do you have with you?
Be thankful for that and make the best of it!
It is a positive attitude...
It is creative use of the tools and blessings at hand...
Not wishful thinking!
If you intend to survive..."should of...would of...could of..." just doesn't cut it...
Stress is minimized by looking inward...
and doing your best with what you have...
Then no matter how the dice stop...
Enough Said!
Have a great weekend!
Find ways to minimize you stress...
Eliminate Criticism and Negativity from your life...
Replace them with Creativity and Positive self-talk!
Pura Vida!
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